My beef with the Body

{Disclaimer: these are my thoughts, to which I am entitled.}

This may not be as positive as I would like it to be. Might not be uplifting at all, actually. But if nothing else, it will at least be honest. I'm not exactly sure how to gather my thoughts on the topic so I'll treat this blog like a seashell hunt: just head out with a bucket and grab up whatever fits in.

I think my beef with the Body is the politics of it all. That's really the only word I can think to tie to it. An example: a few years ago, I went on a retreat with the women at my church. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ok, exaggeration, but you get the point. I really loved it. When we got back, there was a specific woman who felt kind of left out. Now granted, she may have been overly sensitive but, as the Body, it's our job to carry each other's burdens, so I started to lift away.

We decided to start having Ladies' Nights occasionally, so everyone had the opportunity to get together. Nothing overly planned or overly religious. Just some girls getting together to catch up and continue to develop friendships. Not long after that, I was invited to join the women's ministry team.

After about 4 months of being a part of the team, we started planning for our next retreat. It was seriously a heck of a time of planning. I learned a lot and had a lot of fun. But I also had a lot of annoyances. At most meetings, I left feeling like everything I said was inferior to the other thoughts given. I felt treated as "Oh that young Liz. She hasn't been in 'ministry' long enough to know what works and what doesn't." I kind of got over this and moved on. After our planning, we got to the retreat and it was amazing. God really used it and it was really great. I was so thankful for it.

As months went on, planning commenced for other events. And that's when the trouble started. I was "given" an event to plan and quickly it was "taken" from me and "given" to someone else. Then, the event was cancelled and never came to be. It was after this that I realized what I needed to do: move on. And so I did. I quit the team

And what bothered me the most was that I never wanted to be that person. I never wanted to quit ANYTHING, especially within the Church, because of personal differences. I wanted to persevere. I wanted to work at it and get things figured out. So, I tried. I tried to work things out with people. I quickly came to realize not everyone wanted to work things out. I'm not playing the martyr. I'm not saying I did all things correctly. I am saying, though, that I was left feeling ignored and unimportant.

So, now it's time for retreat planning again. And this year, I'm not a part of it at all. It feels really strange. I know God had me work with the "team" for a bit for a purpose. I know He had me move on for a purpose. But that doesn't stop the frustration. It feels like the one thing at which I thrived and which I truly loved to do was taken from me. I didn't fit in enough with those in leadership to be validated and truly included.

Now, in conclusion, these are my thoughts:

I believe that in the Church, there must be leadership, but there must not be a hierarchy. I believe people of different skill sets and personalities should be celebrated, not made to feel excluded. I believe we should do all things to please God, not others.

The Church is an organism with various parts, each working in unison for a common goal. When you begin to lose focus of this and begin focusing on the he-said, she-said, he-wants, she-wants of it all and start trying to please others, it causes division, the very thing the Body stands against.

I am proud of who I am. I'm thankful for the gifts God gave me. So, I'll take them an serve elsewhere, thank you very much. And hopefully, I can keep my eye on the prize. :)