Consumerism and all that it entails.

Let me just candidly tell you about my past 2 months. I know people don't LOVE to talk about money, the same way they don't LOVE to talk about their weight. So, I'll get into at least one of these taboo subjects in the next few paragraphs or so.

The month of February was a type of social experiment for me. I chose to go the entire month and buy absolutely nothing new. If I needed anything and Value Village or Salvation Army didn't have it, I just went without until it showed up on the shelves. It was amazing, actually. Like a treasure hunt. It made what I owned all that much more valuable. As we all know, the 28 days of February went by very quickly.

I had chosen to take this route because of my involvement with the Free Store here in Charlotte. I see people come through each week, with such a sense of urgency. They have next-to-nothing yet someone has instilled in them (and in us all) that we NEED something. Anything. Just get it. Grab it. As fast as you can before it gets gone and then you'll do without. I understand basic needs (such as socks/underwear, warm coats, food, etc...) but became bombarded with the thought of our NEED for so much more.

In addition to seeing this urgency in people's eyes, I also began to see things being stripped of their value- and I say this as a positive change. Banana Republic and Janie & Jack clothing laying on a shelf next to Faded Glory all for the same price: nothing. What's the big deal? Someone spent $45+ on each item, got tired of it or decided it wasn't stylish enough, and threw it out. So my thought was: why bother buying anything at all? I mean, what do we really NEED?

I'm ashamed to say, however, that as March has come and gone, I have found myself back in the pit of consumerism and maybe even more-so than before. I have been to Wal-Mart (a place I'd been once in the past 3 years), Ikea 4 times (and currently have a car-full of crap from there) and have had my hand at Target and *gasp* Concord Mills. It almost feels disgusting. And to be honest, I felt like an addict. I rushed in, grabbed what I could, and couldn't wait to come home and put it all in a closet. There. I did it. I own some shit now. Cute shit. Good shit. If I want to, I can go look at it. I can try it on. I can hold it up to a mirror and smile at myself. I can carry a bag and play whatever part it is I've given myself. I did it. I gave in.

So those are 2 very contrasting months. I have to say that my March Madness made me feel much more "in need" than my February ever did. Buying nothing new, I felt free. I felt able to spend more time and effort on what matters. I was resourceful. I produced less household waste.

Oddly enough, all day I've had Madonna's "Material Girl" in my head. As catchy as the ol' dig is, I really believe I became just that. In philosophy, we're taught that in the Materialism school-of-thought that "what you see is all there is. If it is not in material form, it does not exist." And I spent the better part of a month chasing only that which I could see. And I am disgusted with myself.

God tells us with good reason "You can't serve God and money." And you can't. You only have emotional energy to be consumed with one or the other. They cannot coincide.

We're working through "Anti-Consumerism April" starting tomorrow. And I know it's not "the man's" fault that I bought all the crap that I did. And I know it goes beyond buying and into being. That is the journey I'm hoping to take this month. In 2 months, I've gone from 1 extreme to the other (to the extent that my mother asked if my husband got a raise. No, mother, I just got greedy). I'd like to take this month to become grounded again in life's TRUE necessities. Feel free to journey with me.

To be healed...

So this morning I caught the tail-end of the conversation at the Free Store. Our friend, Gary, was sharing about a man he knew who was a "serpentine" (or something along those lines. Please keep in mind I came in at the end :)...) The story's summary is that the guy worked with snakes and would systematically inject himself with small amounts of venom in enough increments to where he had developed immunities to the multiple types of snakes he worked with. A while after this, an individual he knew was bitten by a snake and had no anti-venom nor a way to combat his wound. The guy flies to his friend was and is allowed somehow to have his blood injected into his friend, thus healing him and saving his life.

That's some pretty powerful blood.

As we continue talking, our friend Paul, begins to speak on how frequently we pray for miracles, not realizing we're sitting on one everyday. He speaks of a book that takes pages and pages to describe the complex process of the healing process your body goes through when you, for instance, knick yourself while shaving. The blood rushes to the wound, and immediately goes to work to, in essence, heal itself.

That's some pretty powerful blood.

Now, praying for healing is a dangerous thing, much like praying for patience. You pray for patience, you get trying situations. You pray for healing, and, well, you get wounded. We often don't see our miraculous emotional and spiritual healings until we are first hurt and wounded.

So, for me, lately I've been feeling "off". Like something just wasn't right. There had been a lot of bitterness and anger in some aspects of my life. I courageously began to pray for healing, understanding it was an often painful process. Through this prayer, I found myself back in 8th grade, (a scary time for everyone), to an situation I had all but forgotten about.

Sometimes, I realized, things happen to us that inadvertently shape who we will become. We have no control over it. I realized I had let one lie control everything I had become. As I prayed through this healing, I realized the growth could not have come without the pain. The healing could not have come without the acceptance.

As Gary shared of the man with the anti-venom blood's healing ability for his friend, we learn how we can be this for others. The man injected himself with venom little by little, which was painful and uncomfortable. As time went on, the doses became stronger. He also thought it was solely for himself- to allow himself to combat a potential attack. What he found, instead, was that this blood of his was not only good for himself and his own healing, but for others suffering the same types of attacks.

So our wounds and our healings are not just for us. Paul also mentioned that as we are looking for these miracles, we forget that we have the power within us to heal. God has given it to us. This blood flows through our veins. If he is our healer, and he is in us, we are never alone and are never without our Great Physician (both spiritually and physically). You kind of come to accept that there is a greater purpose behing everything, you just have to be willing to let yourself go there.

*Dedicated to my Best Friend/life partner Jamie Smith, who heals me more than she knows*