Saturday, January 7, 2012

Just real quick

I have to go to work- not "got" to but "get" to (any Greg Baty fans will understand the reference)- in like 56 minutes so I'll make it quick.

About 5 minutes ago, I read a blog called "Living life Intentionally" that a guy I went to college  with and his wife write.  I realize I spend an awful lot of my thought-time being in a negative space.  Even reading their title made me want to do better, to live with intention and purpose.  So, at least today, I'll follow their lead a make a top-5 thankfulness list, just to get my Saturday going in the right direction.

1. Friends.  Good.  Bad.  Same. Different.  Having relationships outside the nuclear family that I don't "got" to have but "get" to have.  I'm thankful for the challenges they bring and the healing, all in the same breath.
2. My neighborhood and the amazing people that are a part of it.  God is really doing something big here. It's nice to remember how much he cares. And that our sweet friends, Kala and John Michael are coming to scope the place out to see if they want to be a part of it soon!  Eek!
3. My little antique store job.
4. Coffee.  Dark, black, bold coffee.
5. My hot, caring, forgiving, human-not-faking-it husband, who watches documentaries that compel him to dumpster $200 worth of delicious food, clean, cook and store it all, plays beautiful music as our children dance, says he doesn't have 20 minutes to run with me but has an extra 20 to sleep (ahem. he is in bed right now with that excuse), and thinks that the only way to have a good time is if bowling is involved.  We screw up lots and lots and lots (times like a million) but I know God is doing something and has a unique purpose for us being together and I know we are slowly getting there.

So there, negative energy.  Take some positivity today.

Oh, and I'll add #6:
6. Gold nail polish.  Sheesh.  Who knew?

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Control

First thing's first.  I wish I could play The Faint's "Control"or Death Cab's "The New Year" as you read this blog, like you could on Xanga.  Oh well, these times, they are a' changin'.  Anyway:

Something big is starting to bug me.  Something trendy, something cliche, something, well, pinned.  Is is all the 2012 hoopla?  Not really.  Is it my need to clean and organize?  Kinda, but not in this case.  Is it Al Gore?  Usually.  Isn't the warm winter his fault, anyway?  Actually,  tt's those dang bucket lists on Pinterest!  (Can I get a "I know, right?!?!?"). They are EVERYWHERE.

And don't get me wrong.  I love a good list and have quite a few friends who can attest to it.  I even love a good bucket list.  Like: I will paint my chairs in the dining room before I die.  I will sew 1 more garment before I die.  I will go a week without arguing with my husband before I die.  (It's true.  We did last week, suckas.)  But the ones that really get me are "Meet Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen." "Be on Glee."  Or, get this one, "Have a white Christmas."

Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm the only one they bother.  Maybe you're looking at them thinking "What's the big deal?  I've loved the Olsen twins since '87.  I'm tryna meet 'em, too."

It's not that I hate MK&A, Glee (bc I totally Hulu it from time to time), or don't yearn for Bing Crosby's beautifully attributed White Christmas.  The issue is that it's completely unrealistic to hope for these things!  So what?  You put it on a list to meet some celebrities.  You go to LA (because isn't that where all cool people live), you chase down said celebrity, only to be chased down by security.  You go to NY (because it snows there on Miracle on 34th Street) only to find it to be an unseasonably warm winter and will be a bold 45 degrees December 25th.

I don't think my semi-goals are better than anyone else's.  I don't think that admiring people and wanting to meet them is stupid.  But I do think it is a manifestation of how we live our lives.  We go around, from day to day, making our plans based on something over which we have completely no control.

I can't help it if the Olsen's aren't dying for a shopping trip and cocktails with me. (But let's get real.  They probably are.)
I can't help it if I audition for Glee and don't make it. (Which I will not be doing, by the way.)
I can't help it if I show up to a cooler climate on Christmas and it's sunny.  (A wise man once said "You can paint a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather."  I think it was in like '01.  And I think he also said "Hey, ya")

I guess I can't have control over other people's goals.  :)  But I want to have goals that I can reach.  What if I really was living for something that was out of my control?  I can control whether or not I go and pick  up paint and paint my chairs, God willing and the creek don't rise.  I can control whether or not my sewing machine stays in my closet.  I can control whether or not I choose to engage in arguments or simply conversations with those closest to me.

Our problems begin when we put our hopes, our goals and our worth in someone else's possession.  If you have goals, great!  But make them be something you have control over.  Sometimes it's simply a matter of rearranging your words: "Be brave enough to speak to the Olsen's, should I see them in person." "Audition for Glee and be proud of my results." "Be grateful for each Christmas I spend with those I love, no matter the temperature."  I know it sounds silly, but I truly believe that when we change our hearts, our minds, our goals, we change our destinies.  

So go write some goals.  Some good goals.  Some attainable ones, that you have control over.  Even if it starts with "write a list of goals with 1 item on it." Check.