Control

First thing's first.  I wish I could play The Faint's "Control"or Death Cab's "The New Year" as you read this blog, like you could on Xanga.  Oh well, these times, they are a' changin'.  Anyway:

Something big is starting to bug me.  Something trendy, something cliche, something, well, pinned.  Is is all the 2012 hoopla?  Not really.  Is it my need to clean and organize?  Kinda, but not in this case.  Is it Al Gore?  Usually.  Isn't the warm winter his fault, anyway?  Actually,  tt's those dang bucket lists on Pinterest!  (Can I get a "I know, right?!?!?"). They are EVERYWHERE.

And don't get me wrong.  I love a good list and have quite a few friends who can attest to it.  I even love a good bucket list.  Like: I will paint my chairs in the dining room before I die.  I will sew 1 more garment before I die.  I will go a week without arguing with my husband before I die.  (It's true.  We did last week, suckas.)  But the ones that really get me are "Meet Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen." "Be on Glee."  Or, get this one, "Have a white Christmas."

Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm the only one they bother.  Maybe you're looking at them thinking "What's the big deal?  I've loved the Olsen twins since '87.  I'm tryna meet 'em, too."

It's not that I hate MK&A, Glee (bc I totally Hulu it from time to time), or don't yearn for Bing Crosby's beautifully attributed White Christmas.  The issue is that it's completely unrealistic to hope for these things!  So what?  You put it on a list to meet some celebrities.  You go to LA (because isn't that where all cool people live), you chase down said celebrity, only to be chased down by security.  You go to NY (because it snows there on Miracle on 34th Street) only to find it to be an unseasonably warm winter and will be a bold 45 degrees December 25th.

I don't think my semi-goals are better than anyone else's.  I don't think that admiring people and wanting to meet them is stupid.  But I do think it is a manifestation of how we live our lives.  We go around, from day to day, making our plans based on something over which we have completely no control.

I can't help it if the Olsen's aren't dying for a shopping trip and cocktails with me. (But let's get real.  They probably are.)
I can't help it if I audition for Glee and don't make it. (Which I will not be doing, by the way.)
I can't help it if I show up to a cooler climate on Christmas and it's sunny.  (A wise man once said "You can paint a pretty picnic but you can't predict the weather."  I think it was in like '01.  And I think he also said "Hey, ya")

I guess I can't have control over other people's goals.  :)  But I want to have goals that I can reach.  What if I really was living for something that was out of my control?  I can control whether or not I go and pick  up paint and paint my chairs, God willing and the creek don't rise.  I can control whether or not my sewing machine stays in my closet.  I can control whether or not I choose to engage in arguments or simply conversations with those closest to me.

Our problems begin when we put our hopes, our goals and our worth in someone else's possession.  If you have goals, great!  But make them be something you have control over.  Sometimes it's simply a matter of rearranging your words: "Be brave enough to speak to the Olsen's, should I see them in person." "Audition for Glee and be proud of my results." "Be grateful for each Christmas I spend with those I love, no matter the temperature."  I know it sounds silly, but I truly believe that when we change our hearts, our minds, our goals, we change our destinies.  

So go write some goals.  Some good goals.  Some attainable ones, that you have control over.  Even if it starts with "write a list of goals with 1 item on it." Check.