I cried when I read it. Why did I cry? I don't know. Maybe because I'm a terrible person. But that's a different story for a different day. I know it Proverbs 31 it says "She sees that her trading is profitable". I have thought about that verse and said "See? Women can work, heck, DO work in the Bible and it is not a bad thing." The 31 woman was wise, business-savvy and eager. I think the main thing to think about is exactly what that naptime mom said: You have to let your husband provide and you have to fulfill biblical roles (Liz Eagle). It is not whether or not you bring in income. Maybe you need to, maybe you don't. It's more about mindset. You have to trust your husband (Liz Eagle) to make the choices. Even if it sounds crazy, you have to CHOSE to do as he asks because he is, in fact, the leader. We talk about how they get to leave, they get to go, we get to stay, figure out childcare, do allllll the laundry, allllll the dishes, alllllll the sweeping, allllll the diaper changes no matter the time of day or night and all the responsibility inevitably falls on us.
But it kind of is our biblical role. Genesis 1-3 sets us up for it and if we want to live the way we SHOULD live, then we let go of all the things that we WANT and realize what we NEED and all we need is to trust God, and often trust him through our husbands. If we work or not, God put the children IN us, to hold and protect and arrange our lives around and just because they are in the "real world", that role does not go away. Not at 6am, 10am, 5pm, 2am. I should probably spend more time celebrating what I GET to do instead of what I HAVE to do.
This mothering life is not for the faint of heart. It is not all teething crackers and story time, like I thought it might be. Sometimes for me, it's a living nightmare. I can't seem to get anything cleaned up, cooked up, packed up, washed up, let alone get outside and play and run around with my kids. I HAVE to clean. I HAVE to rake. I HAVE to garden. I HAVE to sew. Have to, have to, have to. Let it go, Liz. Seriously. Enjoy it. Enjoy it in the good times, grow through the bad. Just grow. Just let it be positive. Let it be the way it was intended.
A few weeks ago, a person told me I was "self-righteous" in the things that I do. As I (a little too often and a little too annoyed) have thought on what she said, I cannot help but think how wrong that is. In fact, I feel it is quite the opposite. I am not righteous in any way. And sometimes, even complete strangers feel it. (Again, a different story, for a different day). I am a mess. Seriously. I don't know who this "self" of mine is and feel as thought I haven't for quite some time, but it certainly isn't anyone capable of being righteous in and of myself.
Being a wife, being a mother, and (if we're doing it correctly), being a human should make us forget about ourselves and dive in to remembering others. Remembering the little people that wake us up at all hours of the night. Remembering the husband who leaves to work, not because he WANTS to, but because it is his role in supplying his family with all the amazing things they're allowed. Remembering the husband who may feel pressured by the expectations not only of himself but that *gulp* we are putting on him but saying what we DON'T have or CAN'T do or how we WISH life was. It is our role to support. End of story. Help hold the family up. It would fall apart with out us and we can't fall apart in the process!
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come."
she can laugh at the days to come."
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