One day, the worms are gonna eat us all anyway.

So, about being mother of the year. I have been going on and on and will continue to go on and on about my big night at the Preschool Parent Social. It was legit. I bid on some art, I hung out with grown ups, oh, and I won 1/2 off tuition. Again, legit.

The social was something I'd been hearing about for a few weeks and had been pretty intently avoiding. Ryan was going to be at work and I could just see myself, wall flower Liz, watching as all these Mercedes Moms enjoy their cosmos (what's even in that, again?) and me wondering why I even showed up. So, no. This was not on my agenda. Until one day....

As I was waiting in the hallway with a few of the other parents, I was asked about the social. I told them I didn't want to go alone and have no one to talk to. They assured me that they would talk to me and that it would be super fun so I should go. So super jazzed up, I go home to tell Ryan about these people who clearly want to be my new best friends and grab a $20 to by my ticket.

So I show up to the party, all alone. While at the gym prior, I heard that "Tonight's gonna be a good night" song (judge if you will) and determined to make it my anthem. I end up about halfway through, talking to one of the dad's I'd never met before. (Ironically, his son and my little gal beat each other up pretty frequently). We get to talking about the "So what do you do?" 's and all of grown up land. He tells me of his many years (he's 42 vs. my 25) of being a real estate lawyer. He tells me how he's missed a lot of time with his family, though working from home. I tell him very proudly of Ryan's life as a restaurant manger-turned-photographer and our struggle for balance and what career choices to make. He says "Oh, you guys are just babies. You have all the time in the world for making these big choices! You've got to do what gets food on the table and a roof over your head. It all passes by so quickly and you don't get the time back. One day, the worms are gonna eat us all anyway."

I stood, probably slack-jaw, at these unexpected words of wisdom. It may sound grim but it is so true. What I gathered from him was like the passages in Ecclesiastes that tell us it's all meaningless--- all of it. I am SO quick to run down the road and hang out with my homeless friends. I'm super quick to be friends for life with people in the same tax bracket as myself. And I often judge and refuse those who have what seems to be an abundant lifestyle. I think I have so much in common with the afflicted brother or sister or the oppressed. But I forget that really, life is the same for all of us.... we live, we strive, we toil, we die.

I should adopt in life what we do in death: That there are no distinctions, that our bodies all wear out the same and find the same fate, and that big or small we take none of it with us. No matter what you possess, you cannot stop the inevitable. My hope is that I will stop living in a self-inflicted inferiority to these different classes of people and stop seeing money as a determining factor for someone's worth. I certainly don't look down on those who have little but I hastily shun those who are well off. I make assumptions that all anyone lives for is money. Well, in reality, maybe it's just me. I'm thinking I need to take my blinders off and see it all for what it really is: meaningless.

Mother of the Year

So, I have embarked on something I've never really done before: Halloween costumes. Year 1: Baby in eggplant outfit. Why an eggplant? Not sure. All I know is she hated it. Year 2: Costume 1-- Krispy Kreme cashier. Why? Because I had Chuck Taylor's, jeans, a black t-shirt, a baby doll apron and a free hat from Krispy Kreme. Done and done. Costume 2: Pirates. Why? Because anyone can draw a beard on their face.

But this year, my friends, is different. My kid is-- get this--- something kids actually like! She's Olivia! Ok, so I confess. I took the easy way out AGAIN. (Buying costumes is such a pain.) For her birthday, Ryan and I got her Olivia dress up clothes. It had an explorer outfit and a ballerina outfit. And naturally she's the ballerina. My mother-of-the-year award comes into play with the pig accessories. (FYI--- if you haven't already caught on, Olivia is a cartoon pig girl.) Out of construction paper, we made ears AND a nose. I am SO excited to see her in this!

In fashion with other posh blogs, I will now post a how-to segment, just to really make myself feel awesome.

1) Pig Ears

Need:

Pink Construction Paper

Pink Headband

Black Sharpie

Glue

Stapler

1. Fold pink paper in half. Along the fold, draw pig ears, allowing room at the bottom to adhese to the headband and cut them out.

2. Fold ears over headband and glue. Staple once, right along the inside, close to the headband.

3. Trace outline of ear with marker.

Voila! (And I wonder how many time's I've typed that as "viola")

2-- Pig Nose: (my shining moment in motherhood)

Need:

Paper towel roll

Pink paint

Pink Construction paper

Sharpie

2 pieces of Yarn

1. Cut a 3" piece off paper towel roll.

2.Poke 2 holes symmetrically near one end. Paint pink. (We put pink paint on a paper plate and rolled it. Confession--- this is because we do not own paint brushes. Oops.)

3. Draw a circle using the end of the towel roll on the pink paper. Cut out and draw 2 nostrils. :)

4. After roll is dry, string yarn through the holes, tying knots on the inside in. You may choose to tape the inside of the roll so it does not fall out (or if you made one of the holes too big...)

5. Glue the circle to the opposite end of the paper towel roll.

6. Tie the nose around your little person's head to make all the other moms wish they were you.

So, in conclusion, I nominate myself, Liz Eagle, for the available position of Mother-of-the-Year. Yes, I may have volunteered for everything at preschool and was asked to do none of it. Yes, I may have cracker crumbs as a permanent interior for the car. Yes, I may have to quickly scrounge for a lunchbox-worthy lunch every Tuesday and Thursday. But by golly, I worked my little thinking cap off and I made a damn good Halloween costume, for the first time in my life. Take that Paul, Virginia, Betsy and all the other Episcopal Preschool Mercedes Moms. My kid looks stellar.